


i’d do it all over again, if it’s with you

by neohearts



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aftercare, Consent is Sexy, Established Relationship, First Time, Fluff, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Implied Sexual Content, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Soft Na Jaemin, i love him ;((, why is that not a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26111263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neohearts/pseuds/neohearts
Summary: and when renjun was lost and flying in the unfamiliar sensations of vibrant color and sparkling flares, jaemin’s grounding touch always brought him back down to earth, here in this apartment, in this bed, where he was determined to never let go of him, as if terrified that renjun might fade away if he merely blinked for a half second longer.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 124





	i’d do it all over again, if it’s with you

**Author's Note:**

> hello!! just wanted to clarify that this isn’t my first time writing fanfiction, but it IS my first time publishing a work on ao3 so i’m still unfamiliar with the mechanics....h anyways jaemren :)) unbetaed BUT now edited woooo

all renjun can hear is his heartbeat. the rhythmic thudding against his chest reverberates throughout his entire body and pumps heavy molten silver through his veins, the sound too loud and too quiet at the same time with each pulse that echoes to his pink-tinted ears.

all renjun can feel is the bedsheets. the thin layers of cotton and polyester hug and mold into the shape of his naked figure with every movement, the feather-light weight on him too hot and too cold at the same time against his flushed, sensitive skin.

all renjun can think is _jaemin_. the way his eyes light up with stars when renjun says he loves him, the way his graceful fingers delicately flutter against renjun’s to interlock, the way his beautiful hands squeeze renjun’s hips with meaning, the way his pretty eyelashes cast fleeting shadows onto his cheeks when renjun’s breath quickens, the way his hot breath fans over renjun’s equally hot skin, the way his sculpted body shudders against renjun’s own raptured frame, the way his low moans—

“are you okay, baby? are you sure you don’t need anything else?”

jaemin’s concerned voice slices through renjun’s memories of earlier. with cheeks dusted with the color of roses and pink tulips, renjun flits his eyes up to momentarily focus on his lovely boyfriend standing at the edge of the bed, now dressed in a plain white shirt and jeans, before sheepishly dropping them back down to the mundane sheets.

after they finished, jaemin almost immediately got up to fetch an ice-cold water bottle and a damp towel. he basically nursed renjun the water to cool him down before cleaning him up with nothing but all the possible care in the world. the visible pink on renjun’s cheeks darkens when he remembers.

renjun shakes his head, hoping it will hide his ever-deepening blushing face. “no i’m okay. you’ve already done everything.”

jaemin only purses his lips but doesn’t say anything more. renjun feels the bed dip down when jaemin crawls into the space next to him, on top of the sheets and onto his stomach, head turned and looking as though to study each crease and detail of renjun’s expression. jaemin’s hand comes up to rest against the rosy cheek without any force or intent to make renjun look him in his eyes, and for that simple act of thoughtfulness, renjun is more than grateful.

“what’s going on in that head of yours, angel?” jaemin asks with the softest voice, knee bending to touch renjun’s thigh.

 _a lot of things_ , renjun wants to say, but he knows that telling jaemin would only worry him more. a dull soreness manifested itself between his legs, so he’s a little frightened to shift his lower frame. his nerves especially are all jumbled and sensitive as an aftermath, every fiber in his body vibrating and fizzing at the edges at every action jaemin does, hyperaware of his comforting presence almost as if _yearning_ for more. every sound jaemin breathes out and every brush of jaemin’s fingers is so tremendously heightened that renjun feels he’ll jump out of his skin and melt into a bundle of nerves and emotions at any sudden movement or unanticipated noise.

renjun doesn’t know what he was expecting. after he constantly reassured jaemin that _yes, i’m sure_ and _please i want this, too_ and _i promise i’ll tell you if i want to stop_ , he never would have expected the onslaught of white-hot bliss and pure ecstasy that would shoot down his spine and soak his body in incessant waves of euphoria. it felt as though his skin was softening into foam-like putty, becoming malleable and pliant in order to embrace more of the prickles of heat ebbing away at his limbs. his body reacted in ways he wasn’t even aware it was capable of. renjun could tell jaemin was feeling the same foreign sensations, too, though he easily submitted to them with clear familiarity and experience. he remembers how he gripped his hips tighter, how he kissed him deeper in reverence, how he briefly closed his eyes every time their skin made sweet friction. renjun also remembers unintentionally spurring jaemin on as well. each hitch of breath, each gasp, each whimper for _more_ —

“renjun?” jaemin warmly prompts, patience evident in his loving tone as his thumb caresses renjun’s cheek with the gentleness of a butterfly’s wing.

“just...” renjun pauses to think hard. he recalls jaemin’s careful hands and tender kisses, always asking him if he really wanted this, if he really wanted his first time to be with him. how jaemin treated him with unbearable awe and attentiveness as if renjun was embellished with fragile opulence, as if golds and diamonds were glittering in the obscure crevices of his tendons and arteries. and when renjun was lost and flying in the unfamiliar sensations of vibrant color and sparkling flares, jaemin’s grounding touch always brought him back down to earth, here in this apartment, in this bed, where he was determined to never let go of him, as if terrified that renjun might fade away if he merely blinked for a half second longer. renjun visibly softens at the memory and jaemin plants a prolonged kiss to his bare, vulnerable shoulder.

renjun inhales before finally speaking, turning to face jaemin whose eyes are glowing with encouragement. “i love you,” he states quietly but with a finality to not be questioned. “thank you for always taking care of me.”

jaemin’s eyes go round before turning into twinkling half-moon crescents. his mouth shapes into an open-mouthed smile with an undercurrent of mischief and the scheme to play, and renjun nearly sighs with regret.

_here we go._

without missing a beat, jaemin begins cooing, bringing both hands to cup renjun’s face before he could pull away, squishing his reddening cheeks together. “aw injoonie~ my baby loves me so much~ you’re so cute~ there’s no need to get shy, baby,” jaemin gushes out, every syllable dragged out much longer than necessary. 

“shut up!” renjun groans, but there’s no heat in his voice at all. he glares daggers at jaemin to get him to stop, but jaemin’s smile only grows more wide and chesire-like to take up half his face.

when jaemin leans forward to likely smack a kiss square on renjun’s lips, he loudly protests and rips himself away from jaemin’s shameless hands. renjun buries his burning face into the pillow, efficiently protecting his mouth from slobbery smooches and his cheeks from pinches. jaemin breaks out into laughter without restraint, loud and unfiltered right in his ears, so captivating and undoubtedly filled with pure elation that renjun feels his own lips curve up against the sheets of the pillow. renjun feels sweet kisses landing on the head of his hair, brushing against the soft strands.

“i love you too, renjun.” the muffled words, filled to the brim with adoration, clipped off with a giggle, spoken through a fond smile, permeates the air and lingers in the atmosphere for renjun to never forget.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <33  
> 


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